When yesterday our baby boy turned four-month old, I thought I was deep enough in the knowledge of motherhood that I could discuss the topic with wisdom in my eyes and confidence in my voice. Although it would be of utmost ridiculous to be so arrogant in reality, the first few months indeed appeared to be a lifetime.
Despite stereotypical expectations of constant discomfort, mood swings and morning nausea, my only complaint was (so far) the necessity to stay away from blue cheese, sushi and deli meats. Perhaps the absence of those typical issues that define the majority of pregnancies allowed me productive months of work, preparation of the nursery, and a harmonious mind state of acceptance and tender anticipation of my new role.
I have been absent and reticent on pretty much every social media source that I used to enjoy filling up with my presence. This strange, no longer awkward hesitation to post, share, publish, dragged me much deeper than I thought and instead of creating content just to stick to a schedule, with no heart in it, I postponed. I remember last year my mind trembled from a load of ideas and my body from enthusiasm. New projects that I finally had extra time for were completed in a matter of days. Words were flowing, catching up with imagination, and all I had to do was to write them down.