October Content

This autumn has been the utmost delightful. It was motionless, serene. As if the wind was paralyzed by the way sun rays penetrate through the crowns of poplars, it bothered no leaves; it touched none. This year autumn did not hurry; the whole appearance was of satisfaction of its elongated existence. Leaf foliage rotted gradually. Geese on the pond resembled in laziness that was not alarmed by an unexpected blizzard from the mountains. And, the spider web, illuminating under the afternoon light, gilded just like a line in a boy's hands who is learning to fly fishing. I could observe it, finally, with no intrusive feeling that much of those delights shall be over sooner than wanted.


October had begun as if it had never ended. We found ourselves trapped, with no desire to escape, in the most delightful autumn I could remember. It appeared that nothing changed since trees turned yellow in September. As much as it appeared serene and steady, as much, in reality, things kept changing. Nights turned colder. Days became shorter. More and more news of expanding cases of the virus kept arriving. And another travel plan was cancelled. And another event postponed. However, the perception of dissonance between the tranquillity of nature, and the shifting of ground, changed. If I speak strictly of my inner understanding that change was for good. At first, it brought some peaceful realization of inability to control, therefore needlessness of disturbing that developing peace by arguing with inevitable. It could be the influence of the pleasant days full of sunshine, yet I most likely believe that it was a much deeper reason. 


The whole nature of ours tends to be of two contrary sides. One seeks an opportunity to stand against circumstances courageously. Another one seeks ways to escape any responsibility that unfortunate events might deliver. Those two are the most commonly used and known sides. Yet, there is another side, and that side exaggerates in both the former and the latter ones. Tell me, who had ever met uncertainties with a fully peaceful heart? Who had no worries, no sleepless nights, and as there is no positive answer to that, I conclude that we are all just the same, have concerns, been led into misery time after time, and uneasiness of a certain matter often follows along the path. If in some cases, we can say with all assurance that the objection on depths of despair could be justified, I am convinced, in most cases, it would be exaggerated merely because of the inability to change the circumstances. 


Now, we are getting closer to the main point I have discovered this October and the reason I find myself rather content not only with my life but also my inner condition. I no longer thrived on the need of exaggerating, (maybe only on the paper) during situations unexpected and unwelcome. Not that I also followed the flow with an obedient heart. On the contrary, if there was a need to stand against a sudden cold wind, it was much better done with content, assured heart. I find satisfaction in the following verse: “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.” (Col 3:15) After all, October is also about Thanksgiving, here in Canada. The point is in the difference of the perception; the regiment of gratitude and content that has no root in the material goods, but spiritual empowerment builds up the heart and mind that resist any stress of the outside with integrity and uncompromised power.